If You Could See Me Now
by MsTickTock
Summary: Control. Precision. Everything in Sakura Kinomoto's life was described with these two words. She hid away from everything, afraid of love, afraid of changes. She wanted to avoid past pains from resurfacing. That was, until he came. SxS
1. Chapter 1

Hello! Here's Tick and Tock with our first production – If You Could See Me Now.

Summary – Control. Precision. Everything in Sakura Kinomoto's life was described with these two words. She hid away from everything, afraid of love, afraid of changes. She wanted to avoid past pains from resurfacing. That was, until he came. SxS

Disclaimer – We don't own Cardcaptor Sakura! (But I'm sure Tock would want to)

* * *

**Prologue**

There was never a flicker of recognition in Tomoyo's eyes when she looked at Eriol. There was no bond, no connection between the mother and son. It startled Sakura and she assumed maybe it was because they never knew who the father was. Maybe that unknown fact has driven Tomoyo out of Tomodea, out of Sakura's life.

Granted, Sakura promised herself never to have children. She had raised herself, and her sister; she had no desire to raise anyone else. After slaving away at school and college, Sakura had been successful in setting up her own interior design business. She had reached her goal by being realistic, by being in control. She told herself she was living in the world and not a dream, above all, not to follow her mother's and sister's examples. They taught her she would not get anywhere with wistful dreams.

So taken by her beliefs, her hair was always in a tight bun, with no stray strands, her emerald eyes held nothing but facts and she was always dressed in deep, mature colours.

Despite all this, no one was capable of taking care of Eriol, so Sakura found her thirty-four years self living alone with a six-year-old child in a haven she had created herself. It was a place you could feel safe and alone because love was a feeling she could not control. She had loved, had been loved. But those who loved often came and went. After Tomoyo ran away, she vowed to be always in control of her feelings.

* * *

Ja ne! 


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! It's Tick and Tock again with our first actual chapter.

We do hope that you'll drop a review!

Disclaimer - Cardcaptor Sakura isn't ours (Though I wish Syaoran is)

* * *

**Chapter One**

The door slammed shut and there was a patter of small feet on the marble floor. Sakura looked up from her newspapers and called, "Eriol!"

"Yeah?" he asked innocently, his midnight blue eyes twinkling as he appeared from around the doorway.

"Yes, not yeah," she corrected him sternly. Her voice was full of authority as she had become a professional after the last few years.

"What are you doing?"

Eriol stepped out of the doorway and into the kitchen. "Me and Syaoran are going to play on the computer," he explained.

"Syaoran and I," she corrected and went back to her newspapers. As the words finally sank in, she stood up and almost knocked over the chair. She swore loudly and raced down to the playroom, seeing Eriol sitting on the floor, eyes glued to the TV screen.

"Eriol, who's Syaoran?" her eyes darted suspiciously around the room, "You know I hate it when you bring strangers home."

"He is my new friend," Eriol replied, his eyes still fixed on the game.

Sakura insisted on meeting this "friend" of his. Eriol nodded his head in the general direction of Syaoran without moving his eyes from the screen. Sakura looked around and crossed her arms, "Is he hiding?"

Eriol finally took his eyes off the screen and stared at her in confusion. Pointing at the yellow beanbag beside Sakura, he exclaimed, "He is right there!"

Sakura's eyes widened as she stared, only to find a sagging yellow beanbag sitting innocently. She leaned down to an even level with Eriol, the room so silent she could hear her knees crack.

"There is no one but you and me in this room," she explained softly.

Eriol's cheeks flushed and his chest heaved impatiently.

_Please don't be like your mother. Please don't be like her!_

He finally exploded and screamed exasperatedly, "Do you not see him? Why don't you?"

"Okay! Whatever!" Sakura stood up to a level where she had control. She could not see this made-up "Syaoran" and her brain refused to let her pretend. She threw a last glance around the room before giving up. Eriol shrugged and went back to his game.

Sakura then said she would be putting on pizza in twenty minutes. "Syaoran would like some too, with olives on top. It's his favourite!" Sakura could just swallow helplessly.

"Thanks!" Eriol beamed as he went back to his game. She went out of the room, not before showing her crystal clear emerald eyes clouding with worry. "Imaginary friends?" she whispered.

Inside the playroom, Syaoran rolled his eyes and wriggled his body further down into the beanbag. Ever since he started this job, parents have called him that and it was beginning to bother him. There was nothing imaginary about him.

They just couldn't see him.

* * *

_I don't want to believe. Is it because I'm afraid? After all, I can live my life through controlling, right?_


	3. Chapter 3

_For the star-crossed lovers - Love hasn't really changed over the past millennia…Or has it?_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_Syaoran _

It was a cooling June morning, at exactly 9.30 that I met my new buddy, Eriol. I didn't know why, but I looked at my watch just then. Well, there is a reason for everything in the world. So I guess this is important for details in my story, isn't it?

I was glad to meet Eriol that morning as I just left my last best friend, Tom. Having to leave my best friends is part of my job. It is not a nice part but I believe there is a positive side to everything. So the way I see it is - If I didn't leave my old best friends, I would not have made new ones. And making new friends is my favourite part _by far._

Well, that morning I was just closing the great metal door to Tom's home, walking with no direction in mind until I ended up in a place called Fuchsia Lane. It must be the wild fuchsias growing around, thus such a name. When I say here, I mean Tomoeda. I have always chosen to work in Tomoeda as it is such a peaceful and cheery village.

So, I was walking down this lane of twelve houses, looking at little children skipping, cycling and all. Delighted screams and shrieks filled the air. I suppose they are happy it is the weekend. But I don't feel any special attachment to them. You see, as a friend, I am drawn to special people.

In the first house, a gardener was watering the fuchsias and mowing the lawn. The sweet smell of cut grass filled the air. I moved on to the next door. A little girl was sitting on a toy car, making "broom…broom" noises. Of course, they couldn't see me and were oblivious of this tall guy looking down at them. I was beginning to wonder if I took a wrong turn since I still have not found any people who attracted my attention. But I felt a strange urge to continue walking down the lane. So I did.

I stopped at the ninth house and turned to study it. There were no movements in the house, a plaque beside it read "Fuchsia House." There were fuchsias climbing up and down the honey and brown bricked house. Some windows were square while others were circle. The door was a huge mahogany one, with a fuchsia-coloured window on the top and a letterbox at the bottom. It looked like two eyes and smile. I waved back to it, grinning.

Just as I was admiring it, the door was casually thrown open and a boy of about five or six years ran out. He slammed the door, causing the smiley letterbox to sway slightly. He ran into the garden and played with his toy truck and fire engine. I observed him for a while. He was nothing like Tom. Tom was quiet and polite. This little guy was loud and noisy though I have to admit he is good with the sound effects of the vehicles. Better then me, even.

He crashed the truck into the engine, causing the main driver of the engine to fall off and hit him on the forehead. I snorted in laughter. To my surprise, he looked up, staring his blue eyes straight into mine.

"Uh... Hi…" I started nervously.

"Hi," the boy replied.

I started kicking my stained rubber sole against the brick wall. As much as I loved making friends, I still feel jittery about it sometimes.

"What's your name?" I asked.

The boy thought about it, as though contemplating whether to tell me. This is what I loathe about making friends. It is that you want to be friends with someone and realise they wouldn't want the same. Because some are afraid of this, they cower behind and put on a cold façade to show as though you are not interested, so as not to get embarrassed again.

Finally, he spoke, "My name is Eriol. You?"

I shoved my hands deep in my pockets and studied the granite patterns. "Syaoran," I said without looking at him.

He smiled at me. "You shouldn't call it a fire engine, "I remarked. "Cause obviously you won't put it through fire or it will melt!"

He screeched, giggling, "Whoever puts a fire engine through fire?"

"Well, it is called a _fire_ engine, isn't it?" I replied defensively.

Then I noticed a shiny locket by his chest. I picked it up and observed it. There was a picture of a serious-looking girl with a tight auburn bun and the brightest green eyes ever but somehow dull. To her left, was a girl with lavender waist length hair, herwindows of soul sparkling with a wild fire-freedom.

"Who are they?" I asked.

He replied quietly, pointing to the first girl, "This, is my aunt Sakura," and even more quietly, he said, "And the other is my mum. She ran away a week ago. My aunt is taking care of me."

I was surprised. Here are two sisters, different as day and night, as yin and yang. One seemed serious and in control, while the other was contented yet craving for more. I realized that Eriol seemed down. Picking up a buttercup, I rubbed it against Eriol's cheek. "You like butter. So, how can you look like a bunny without two front teeth?"

Eriol's face lit up and he giggled, though not as much as before.

"Hey, want to come in? I got the new computer game!"

And so I found myself in Fuchsia house, preparing to have pizza with olives, cooked by a woman called Sakura with my new friend Eriol.

* * *

It was great of Eriol to invite me to lunch. I mean, come on. It's my favourite food. And what's more, it is on a Friday! How can you say no to a double treat? However, I got the impression from the playroom incident that his aunt doesn't like me much. I wasn't surprised as this was the way things usually happened. Parents think putting out extra food is a waste since they will end up throwing all away. It is tricky for me. You _try_ to eat your food in a cramped area by the side of the table while everyone stares. I felt so paranoid that I ended not eating anything.

I am not complaining; being invited for a meal is nice. But parent often say, "Oh, I do believe Syaoran isn't hungry today." How do they know? Sometimes they give a empty plate and says invisible people eat invisible food. Does invisible wind blow invisible trees? Man.

Usually, it is the mothers who talked to me. Half the time they ask a question and don't listen to my answer. They even look at my chest when they talk to me. It is so stereotypical. They think a toddler must have a shortie as a friend. For the record, I am six feet tall. As for my age, from the place I come from, it is the brain and not the body aging. So I guess my IQ must be quite high by now. Well, I haven't failed being a good friend after all.

Half an hour later, Sakura calls us for lunch. My stomach was grumbling and I looked forward to pizza. I followed Eriol down the hallway, peeking into every room. All of them are decorated with beige and white tones. So spotlessly clean that I was afraid to touch. I began to think this place isn't suited for a child. There was no loud blaring of TV, no squeaking rubber soles, or crashing of wooden blocks. Somehow, there wasn't a homely feel to it.

The kitchen was nice though. There were wall to wall glasses, which made it seem like a picnic since the sunlight was shining through and we seemed so near to the lush green grass. We sat down and started to eat.

Lunch was a disaster. Eriol was shocked that Sakura couldn't even hear me, which was no surprise and Sakura kept glancing puzzled at Eriol since she didn't think that was such a person as Syaoran and neither did she believe it when the second slice of pizza mysteriously disappeared from the huge plate. Well, 'Syaoran' couldn't have eaten it, right?

* * *

_Sakura _

Eriol had just finished his call to his granddad, Fujitaka, telling him about olives Syaoran had for lunch. Sakura, who overheard the conversation, smiled. She knew her dad had never understood fancy food and wouldn't know the difference from an olive to a steak.

She finished stacking the plates in the dishwasher and was standing up when she heard a voice.

"Thank you, Sakura."

"You are welcome, Eriol. And it is Aunt Sakura to you!"

"Huh?" Eriol poked his around the door. "Did you call me?"

"It is pardon, not huh."

"Pardon, then."

"I said you are very welcome."

"But I never said thank you yet. That must be Syaoran."

Sakura opened her mouth to retort but closed it again. She felt shivers down her back and sighed. Why must her dear nephew give her such a hard time?

Sakura cradled a cup of plain coffee in her hands as she sat on the kitchen stool.

"Syaoran, come on! I will let you be superman this time!" Eriol shouted from the playroom.

Sakura groaned silently.

But Syaoran couldn't move. His sneakers were rooted to the kitchen floor. Sakura had heard him say thank you. He knew it. He circled the woman for a few time. He snapped his fingers. He stamped his foot. Nothing happened. But she had replied him, hadn't she? He was greatly disappointed to know she couldn't sense him after all. He stared down at the top of her head and wondered what else he could do. He exhaled loudly.

Suddenly, Sakura sat up straight, shuddering and pulling her tracksuit top zip higher. And he _knew _she felt him.

* * *

Hey! It's Tock here! Thank you for your reviews! If my replies seemed a bit awkward, I am sorry. I'm not too good at conveying my feelings in words. Hees...

StarAngel02: Thanks! Do continue reading, you are partially correct in your guesses!

Cheesycraziness: Well, we are (very) new writers, so do bear with us. This plot is actually adapted from a book. It is a romance story but love isn't always everything right? It is a _sad _love story and there are some hints to where the story is heading in the pick-me-up lines found at the start or end of every chapter. So do continue reading!


	4. Understanding

Boring chapter. Please read though. Important to development.

Disclaimer: I no own ccs, so dont sue me. Plot and story goes to the wonderful Cecilia Ahern

_Sakura_

Sakura pulled her dressing gown tighter around her body and secured it at her waist. She tucked her long legs under her body as she snuggled on the huge oval armchair in the living room. Her wet hair was twisted up on top of her head in a towel while her skin smelt fruity after the passion fruit bath.

She cradled a cup of coffee, completed with a splash of milk as she stared at the television screen. She was literally watching paint dry. Her favourite make-over show was on. After so many years of being in interior design, she was still fascinated by how they could transform the most run-down houses into sophisticated, elegant homes.

Ever since she was a child,she loved to give everything she touched a make-over. She would scatter fresh daisies plucked from the garden on the kitchen table, sprinkle glitter over the floor mats, giving the dull stone floor a shine, assemble petals on the bed supposed it was her fix-it nature, always wanting to be perfect and yet never satisfied.

It was always her childish way of hoping her mother would stay. She remembered thinking the prettier the house, the longer her mother will stay. But the daisies on the table were celebrated for not more than five minutes, the glitter on the floor was removed by the continous stepping by shoes and the petals on the bed were strewn all over during her mother's fitful sleep.

When this were tired of, Sakura would try to think of new ways to please her wished that there was something her mother really loved and would grab her attention for more than five minutes, more than a day, eventually convincing her not to leave. It never did occur to her being her mother's daughter, she could be that something her mother wants to cling to.

As she grew older, her love for bringing beauty of things out grew as well. She loved the fact that after ripping up old carpets, original and elegant floors were revealed. Dusty attics could be converted to a spacey library. Sakura strove for perfection. In her own home, she would be forever rearranging the items, trying to find the best spot to place them. She set impossible targets,to prove to her heart under every ugly thing, there was a beautiful side.

Her own living room is about as many colours she acknowledged. There were light cream and coffee tones all around, ranging from cushions to the television. It was her nest, her refuge, keeping her sane. At least she was in control of the place. In here, she could allow people whom she wanted in and decide how long she wants them to stay.

Not like a heart, which lets in people without her permission, hold them in a special place without her agreement and yearn for them to remain there for a longer time than they planned. No, the guests in Sakura's house came and went as she willed. And Sakura chose for them to stay away.

Sakura's whole life has depended on a folder book of her achievements to convince people to hire her for designing. Nobody in her office could sell their designer abilities as well as she could. Her employees consisted of Rika and Chiharu.

Receptionist Rika was an extremely timid and shy seventeen year old who joined Sakura in her transition year. She was a hard worker and Sakura hired her immediately after Tomoyo. She had more then to let Sakura down and Sakura desperately needed somebody to clear up the mess.

Then there was Chiharu, a girl full of wonderfully impossible ideas and was ready to paint the world a colour she has yet to invent. There were just three of them in the office but Sakura often called on services of Mrs Bracken, a sixty-eight year old genius with a needle and a thread who ran an upholstery shop down the road.

She was also an incredible grump who insisted on being called _Mrs Bracken _and not Gwen, out of respect for her dearly deceased _Mr Bracken, _whom Sakura didn't think was born with a first name. And finally there was Harry, an all round handyman who could do anything but not understand the concept of a unmarried woman with a career.

It was not unusual Tomoyo should turn up at Sakura's doorstep drunk and delirious. She often was willing to take away anything she could get her hand on and that excluded Eriol. Sakura didn't even know if it was the drink Tomoyo was addicted to; she never did had a real conversation with her sister for years.

It is as though a flick switched in her head and they lost her to another world. Sakura did everything she could for her, sent her for counseling, rehab, found her jobs and flats but nothing helped. Tomoyo was lost to her, lost to a world where nobody else mattered.

Suddenly, Sakura stopped her train of thought and pressed mute on the remote control. The room was instantly silenced. She cocked her head to a side. She thought she heard something. Looking around and assuring everything was where they should be, she turned the volume up.

There it was again.

She muted the television and stood up. It was 10.15pm and not yet fully dark. She looked around through the window but all she could make out is the dark shapes of bushes and trees. All day she had felt odd. She sighed and sat down to continue watching her programme, unable to shake off the feeling a pair of eyes were watching her.

* * *

Syaoran couldn't understand his fascination with her . He had been watching her ever since lunch on Friday. Eriol asked him to play games but all he wanted to do is to be around Sakura.

Firstly it was to see whether she could hear or sense him, but after that, he found her compelling. She was obsessively neat. She couldn't go out of a room to answer the phone until she makes sure everything in the room is tidied away.

She drinks a lot of coffee and stares at the garden picking imaginary pieces of fluff out from everything. She thought a great deal. He could see that her brow would furrow in concentration and it was as though she was having mental debates with people in her mind.

They were watching television in the living room and she only seems to like one programme. They both laughed in the same places, groaned in the same places, yet she didn't know he was there. Sakura was also particularly upset by the fact that Eriol was talking to himself during meals.

Before leaving the room this time, she stopped abruptly and glanced into the room. His heart beated wildly. Had she sensed him?

Syaoran fixed his shirt to look presentable and said "Hi,"feeling very self-conscious.

She rubbed her eyes and opened them again,"Oh Sakura, you are going mad," slamming the door to the room.

_Syaoran_

I am not magic, you know. I can't cross my arms, mutter a spell and immediately appear at the other end of a room. I don't live in a burrow, nor do I have funny ears or a tinkly laugh. I cant fly or replace lost teeth.

And I can't open doors.

This has to be done for me. The adults find it the most hilarious when their kids do it for me in public. So what if I can touch a door and not be able to open it? There is no explanation just like humans can't fly, yet they can jump and lift two feet off the earth.

So Sakura shouldn't have locked the living door, seeing I cant open it anyway . Like I said, I am no superhero. I can't put out forest fires in a breath or make things disappear. My special power is friendship.

I listen to people and their tones, words they use to express themselves, most importantly, what they_ don't say._Sighs and signs and avoided conversations are very important too. So all I can do that night is think about Eriol.

I need to do that occasionally to make notes so I can make a file to report to the admin. I need to know why I am here. Why does Eriol need me? How can I help him? The business is done professionally and we must provide adequate information on family background and history. I am good at identifying problems straight away but since Sakura can sense me, she must need my help in some way.

You see, I specialize in helping children, not adults. But since she can feel me, we are meant to be friends. It is my whole meaning for _existence_, trust me. Majority of the time, I work too put a smile on their faces, I work hard. I do, but playing is still _by far_ my favourite.

Take Sakura for example, She lies in bed worrying about the minutest things in the world. If you can't put magnolia on the walls, there are a thousand different colours you can use. If you cant pay your phone bill, just write a letter to tell them. Yes, you need money for food, but you also need sleep to have energy, smile to be happy, be happy so you can laugh and not kneel over in a seizure.

Eriol was happy and ate well. He slept fitfully and had a nice friend called Sam. He loved his aunt and school. He talked about anything in the world and wanted to play. But he could see me, so it means I need to be here for him.

Whereas his aunt, was surrounded by silence. She ate little, slept little. She never said far more then she need and had nobody close that she could talk to. She heard me say thank you once, felt my breath and my squeak on the couch, yet couldn't see nor stand the thought of me being in her house.

She just didn't want to play. Plus, she was an adult and she gave me butterflies.

She wouldn't know it if fun hit her in the face. Believe me, I tried to throw fun at her but she never took the hints.

People refer to me as an invisible or imaginary friend. I have seen grown-up write letters asking why children see me, why they believe in me for so long before suddenly stopping and returning normal. I have seen television shows debating on why children invent people like me.

Just for the record, I am not invisible or imaginary. I walk around like all normal people, just that people like Eriol don't _choose_ to see me, they just see me. It is people like you and Sakura who don't want to see me.

* * *

_I had always thought people will come and go after time. I don't want to see you. What if my heart starts to hold a special place for you? What if I stop seeing you one day? What if you leave me one day? No, I don't want that to happen. So, I would very much prefer if I don't BELIEVE in the fact that you EXIST._

_

* * *

_

_Sakura_

Sakura woke up before dawn broke. She got up and arranged her cushions in the same order as she did every day- the back were two huge mocha coloured suede ones, the middle consisted of cream and beige ones made with rabbit fur. The last two were of coffee cream. Everything has its place. So did the people in her heart. Sakura cleaned herself up before putting on a bland working suit.

She walked briskly to the kitchen and got ready breakfast for Eriol. A box of cereals, a ceramic bowl and a carton of milk. She stared out of the window, looking past the rolling hills. Eriol was invited to spend the day at his grandfather's. Sakura was a little worried as there _Syaoran _going too. Fujitaka was a strict man and he wouldn't like to take nonsense about a invisible friend. They would need to have a small discussion when Eriol wakes up.

"SYAORAN!"

Eriol's voice rang out in the house. He came scrambling out of his room, his midnight blue hair tousled, without glasses, and a red shirt messily tucked into his pants. The outfit was completed with a blue and orange sock in sneakers.

"SYAORANNNNNNNNN?"

Eriol came into the kitchen, looked under the table, behind the door, behind the fridge. Sakura rolled her eyes. This again. She was trying to make a call to the pest control agency about annoying pattering she hears at night.

"Yes, I think there might be mice…."

"WHAT? I CANT HEAR YOU?" Eriol's ears perked up and he stopped yelling.

Suddenly, he ran into the hallway and towards living room. "WHY ARE YOU IN THERE?" He tugged at the handle.

Sakura slammed the phone down without finishing her conversation. Her ears were ringing.

'ERIOL! GET IN HERE NOW!" "

The banging stopped but he looked defiantly at Sakura. "Why did you lock Syaoran in there last night?"

Sakura heaved and said in a deadly whisper," Eriol, go have your breakfast now and there will be no talk of this Syaoran anymore, am I clear? There is _no such_ person as Syaoran, he _does not_ eat pizza or olives, he _does not_ play chasing, and he _is not_ in the living room, neither is he talking to you because he _does not exist_."

Eriol paled and ran to the kitchen, settled down to have his coco flakes. His arm wobbled under the weight of the milk carton and it splashed over the table. Sakura held her back her biting words about dirtying the table. She didn't want to upset Eriol again.

Eriol asked, "Where is the key to the living room?", refusing to catch her eye.

Sakura took the key out of her pocket and twisted it in the keyhole it belonged to.

" Now Syaoran is _free_ to leave the house and go wherever he likes." She joked but immediately regretted it.

"He can't open doors," Eriol said sadly.

Silence.

"He_ can't,"_

Sakura said it as though it was a foreign was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. What kind of imaginary friend is this who doesn't know how to pass through walls or doors? Sakura decided to just play along and open it. Before she knew it, she saw Eriol sitting at the table , with another bowl of coco flakes with freshly poured milk beside him, giggling softly.

_Syaoran_

"Boy is she strict." I whispered to Eriol. Normally I won't whisper when parents are around but I didn't dare to take the risk since she had heard me a couple of times.

"Is she like this all the time?"

Eriol giggled and nodded.

"Does she never gives you hug or play games with you?" I asked as I observed her wiping the countertops, moving the seasonings half a inch right and half a inch left.

"Not much," He shrugged.

"But that's horrible! Don't you mind?"

"Edith says there are some people in the world that don't hug or play with you all the time but they still love you. They just don't know how to express their feelings." He whispered back.

Sakura eyed him nervously.

"Who's Edith?"

"My nanny. She is away on holidays."

" So who will mind you now?"

" You."Eriol smiled.

"Let's shake on it." Eriol and I both held out our hands. Sakura stopped her chores and stared. We laughed even harder when her eyes grew to the size of olives.

_Sakura_

Sakura closed the car door as she watched her father lead Eriol back to the farmhouse. She refused to let Syaoran out of the car and shut it immediately after Eriol got out.

The little boy looked at him pleadingly but she only returned a glare that meant a definite no. She wanted to get out of here now. The house brought back too many memories for her.

As she drove along the road, she remembered the time she was leaving for college. She had whispered into her little sister's ear," You do the same one day, Tomoyo. Promise me, fly away from there." The taxi drove off, with her in the back seat, hot tears gushing out of her eyes.

All she could see was the blurry image of a six year girl waving her arms in the air, the two purple pigtails bouncing up and down. She repeated the same words over and over again in her head, hoping Tomoyo would understand. _Don't be trapped like mother, fly away, as far as you can._

Sakura came back to reality and realized she had been holding her breath. As the house disappeared from view, she relaxed her shoulders.

" Right,Syaoran." She said looking into the rearview mirror at the backseat, "I guess you are coming to work with me," She sighed. Then Sakura did a funny thing.

She giggled childishly.

* * *

Well, hello! I am sorry for the sluggish update rates cause school was busy busy! Read from the start if you havent! Oh yeah, to answer your questions, this story is based on a book by Cecilia Ahern called "If You Could See Me Now" . Haha. Now read and review!

-Tock


	5. Spinning Chairs

Disclaimer: I said before.

* * *

_I really…want to stay. The longer I stay, the more I realize and understand the feelings I have for you. Like falling into a hole. The more reckless I am, the deeper I fall. But I want to be here, to fill up this void._

On her way to the cosy office she owned, she stopped by at Joe's coffee shop. Per usual. The sleepy town was finally stirring, like a little child who is unwillingly pulled away from dreamland and getting ready for school.

It wasn't that Sakura disliked Tomoeda, it was just that the town felt…_suffocating_. It has a tendency to trap people in it, as though without realizing. It welcomes you with open arms, like a child being in a sweet shop with luminous candy and peppermint sticks. As you look around with a pulsing heart and stretch out your arm slowly, the lids are then screwed back onto the jars tightly. Once Tomoeda's beauty is recognized, so is the fact that it has nothing else to offer too.

Another thing was how small the town was. Everywhere Sakura went, anybody could recite out her history to her. They gave her pitying looks, some decide to look away. She would always flush at these instances. It made Sakura want to leave, but many reason prevented her from doing so.

There was once she went to New York with her boyfriend, Mark, to design a club, when she realized how _free_ the city was. No one would know about her crazy mother and screwed up sister, no one would know about her family drama. She could be who she wants. Do what she wants. Unlike in Tomoeda, it was near impossible to hide from her given identity.

. . .

As Sakura broke out of her reverie, she was humming the tune Eriol tried to convince her, was taught by Syaoran. It was annoyingly chirpy and catchy. She frowned and stopped her singing. Pulling up in a lot outside the shop, she walked in to the greasy and old shop.

"Ah, there she is," Joe boomed, "the very woman herself."

"Morning, Joe."

He tutted and tapped his worn out watch. "Bit behind time today, aren't we? Must have caught the summer flu. You know, Sally O' Brendan came down with it after…." Sakura rolled her eyes and tuned him out. She hated mindless tittle-tattle about people she didn't know, and especially since her family was also a usual subject for much gossip.

" A coffee, please, with cream and no milk. I need to take away." Sakura said crisply. Joe moved sluggishly towards the kettle. Sakura was extremely annoyed by the coffee shop in Tomoeda. They only sold one kind of coffee. The instant kind. Over the world, there were so many different kinds of coffee and yet here, Joe just filled the kettle and flicked on the switch. A coffee shop with one measly kettle and unboiled water.

Sakura rolled her eyes again. "I swear, if you roll you eyes anymore, they are going to get stuck up that head of yours," Joe rasped. Sakura ignored him and asked," Honestly, Joe would you not think of getting a coffee machine, so you can actually make _espressos_, _cappuccinos_ and _lattes_ instead of all this instant stuff?"

Joe slammed down the mug of done coffee on the counter and crossed his arms. "No, no fancy stuff from you. You don't like it, don't drink it. I only drink tea. One name, Tea."

"Actually, the Chinese-"

"Oh be off with you. You are going to be late anyway." Joe waved his hand dismissively. Sakura merely smiled and walked out.

. . .

Sakura was always the first in the office. She loved the serenity of it. She never liked giggling, gossiping or any of that. Just as she ate what she needed, she only said what she has to. She never enjoyed heated debates or conversations. As she sat in her office, maybe that was why she never had any friends. Since childhood Sakura never pined for friendship. But oh yes, she did have a few stabs at making friends.

When she moved into her new house, she invited her neighbours from around to a dinner gathering. Only to see Tomoyo burst in, accusing Jane from opposite of having a boob job, Tom from next door of looking her in a sexual way and Ray from behind of having an affair. This resulted in five red faces and a burnt rack of lamb. Since then, Sakura avoided parties and such. She knew her neighbours understood it was not her fault, but she just got tired of explaining and apologizing. So she just gave up.

Sakura turned on her computer and entered "Imaginary friends" into Google search box. Half an hour later, she felt much better about the Syaoran situation. Apparently, imaginary friends were normal for children of Eriol's age. They even encouraged her to play along and set a seat for Syaoran during dinner time.

_Imaginary friends disappear after about three months._ Sakura smirked and flipped her calendar to June, using a red pen to circle it. If Syaoran isn't out of the house by then, she would obligingly open her smiling fuchsia door and show him the way out.

_Syaoran_

I spun around in the leather chair outside Sakura's room. I could hear her boring old voice organizing a boring meeting with boring grown-ups. Yet right after she hung up, she started humming my song. I laughed at that.

I spun around faster and faster, doing pirouettes on the wheels until my eyesight began to water and my head grew dizzy. I decided chair spinning was my absolute favourite _by far_. I thought of how Eriol would have loved to come here too to spin on the chair.

I still remember his sad little face pressed against the glass windows, as he was taken away by his old gramps. I would love to visit the fun. That old guy looks like he could deal with a bit of fun. Sakura resembled him in a way. Two boring old _gnirobs_.

Anyway, this time given me enough to write a report on Sakura and Eriol for my presentation in two days. Guts tell me to stay with Sakura for a few more days before I can assure she really can't sense me and get back with Eriol. I put my foot down on the floor to stop the chair and made a dramatic jump, landing on the floor and rolling across the white carpet to the other side of the room.

I look up to see the door open and a teenager look in as her chair continued spinning madly. She darted her eyes around to see anyone was looking before trying to tame the chair, albeit cautiously. Before she could do that, the old _gnirob _in the room yelled," Rika!" causing her to hurry in to Sakura's room.

I chuckled.

. . .

_Sakura_

"Naoko, did you call for me?" Sakura yelled across the room for what it seemed like the tenth time. "NO! For the last time, Sakura, I did not call you. Neither did Rika. And stop humming that goddamn song! It is really getting on my nerves!" Naoko added after some thought.

"What song? I wasn't humming anything." As soon as she finished her sentence, she started up again. Then stopped. She flushed and decided to assert some control. After all, she was the in charge. Clearing her throat, Sakura opened the door and spoke to Rika."Rika, can you please go fetch me some coffee from Joe's?"

"And add cream. No milk."

"And add cream. No milk."

"And return the collection of mugs you took from Joe."

"Yes, the mugs." Sakura snapped her fingers. The she froze. Who was talking?

Syaoran laughed and danced around gleefully. He couldn't believe how _dense _this woman was. She could really _hear _him!

As Sakura settled back at her desk after Rika closed the door, Syaoran waltzed over to her seat and leaned on his arms, facing Sakura. "Now Saks, I am real. You gotta believe that." Sakura raised her head up, her large emerald eyes transfixed by nothingness. She gulped.

"Ohh..you don't really like Saks, do you?" Syaoran teased.

Sakura paled and nodded. Then shook. She felt extremely confused. Right then, the door swung open angrily. A girl with lavender hair flounced in. "Oh, sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds." She cackled.

Sakura broke out of her reverie and exclaimed, "Tomoyo!" Rika was outside the door, muttering, "I am sorry, Miss Kinomoto, she barged in on her own." Sakura waved her off.

Tomoyo settled down on Sakura's leather couch. "Oh loosen up, Sarkie, I need some money. And who is that handsome guy over there? Did you pick him up on the road?"

_Syaoran_

I was extremely shocked. This…this girl could see me! She must be the mother Eriol was talking about. I didn't reply her and she decided to ignore me, instead, concentrating on Sakura.

. . .

"Look Tomoyo, I got a call from Andy again. He said you were drinking and selling out in the pubs again. I know you aren't stupid. What are you doing?"

Tomyo flared up." I am doing what all twenty year old girls do. Having fun. My drinking is no problem. You are the one with the bloody problem. So shut up." She nodded to the front of the desk, addressing Syaoran, "Oh and you, I don't think you will hang around much longer. _They all leave, don't they, _Sarkie?" She snarled.

Tears welled up in Sakura's eyes. She ignored Tomoyo and picked up her purse, "How much? What for?"

"Fifty. Drugs and more drugs."

Sakura's shoulders dropped."Look, Tomoyo, you can't go on like this. Tell me-"

"Yeah yeah. "She rolled her eyes and snitched the crisp note out of Sakura's hand drifting out of the room. "I was joking. It is for groceries and stuff. Not all of us wipe up asses on silk, you know."

A piece of black material floated onto the white carpet. Sakura knew what it felt like to fall. And she didn't want to feel it again.

. . .

As the eventful day drew to an end, Sakura managed to close two deals. Yet the chair behind Chiharu's table continued spinning. The three ladies watched it warily. "Do you think it is Mr Bracken's ghost?"Rika said quietly. Chiharu snorted."I don't think _Mrs Bracken _will approve of _Mr Bracken's _chair spinning habits."

Sakura knew this was no progress and clapped her hands ," Alright girls, I will ask Henry to fix the loose screws here tomorrow. Have a good night." As the two girls closed the door, Sakura crept towards the chair, inch by inch. It slowly stopped spinning."Chicken," she muttered.

Immediately, she pounced onto the chair and bounced up and down. Slowly, the chair picked up speed and started spinning in all its glory. Sakura lifted her legs up and felt her strict bun come loose. She started laughing. Never in this few years had she felt so young, so free.

The chair grinded to a stop. Her smile faded away as she started to hum, moving her eyes over Chiharu's desk. Her eyes caught a flowery frame. There was a strip of photograph of Chiharu and her boyfriend. The first three were of them making funny faces at each other. But the fourth picture had them staring lovingly into each other's eyes. A scene caught eternally on paper.

Sakura sniffled. She knew that look. She tried not to remember those times, yet she lost against the battle of wills and the crinkly book of memories opened themselves, flooding Sakura's head. She began to sob.

Each tear was a cry of pain and hope that someone would come to help her. And with each teardrop, she realized that she was alone. Her calls will never be answered and all the hope she had were frozen by the wistful silence.

* * *

Whoa! Two updates in so little days! Well, after this chappie, i think updates will be slowing down. And Syaoran will be making his offical appearance in the next chapter! Thank for you reviews! I will reply your reviews if i have the time.

Hime Kimiko: Yes! I love her books! I actually read this book more than 10 times and i think i memorised almost every line in it. Oops. I must seem crazy!

queen-sarcasm :Thanks! I will try my best!

StarAngel02: Well...you arent correct, neither are you wrong. Keep guessing! And i hope you will enjoy the real book! I really really loved it! You can see from my reply to Hime. Haha!

momiji'sunusedhalo:Here is the update! And thank you so much for reviewing!

**  
Notice:**

Yes. Many of you all asked me about the story. So I will tell you all now. If you HATE fics where Syao and Saku don't end up together, please don't continue reading then flame and blame me. I strongly believe in the line" There is no happily ever after but a beautiful beginning". In this story, there is SxS. But the relationship counts more than anything else. So what if they don't end up together? Romeo and Juliet never did ..that is my point. And i don't want to explain anymore and spoil the story! (though many of you all might have read the book already) Haha. Read and review! I appreciate it!


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